I Miss You
by Nami7623
Summary: Can Juliet live without Romeo? How can Bella survive knowing he won’t come back? A BellaXEdward oneshot. “Y-Yes…Edward? Edward! No Edward! Don’t leave me!”


Nami: I'm sad today. And then this thought came to mind. I swear it was killing the inside of my brain. I had to get it out of there somehow, and this was my somehow. Thanks to La chiave al mio cuore for being my beta!

Warning: Character deaths :(

Song: Slipped away by Avril Lavigne.

_--_

_Na na, na na na, na na  
__I miss you, miss you so bad  
__I don't forget you, oh it's so sad  
__I hope you can hear me  
__I remember it clearly_

Yes, I could hear the phone ring. Then again, I wasn't going to pick it up. Whoever it was, they had called me six times. Ring after ring. The sound seemed so far away. So, distant- just as he seemed at first. But that changed, this won't. It can't.

Tears fell down my cheek as the memory came back into view, a picture clear movie playing inside my head. His blood covering the floor, the shock carved into his flawless face, the pain in his eyes. I remember him speaking his last word to me. _Me,_ the human that caused his death. I was the monster not him. He was never the bad guy; he was always the super hero. My hero. But this story didn't have a happy ever after, did it?

The last words he spoke began to ring in and out of my mind. The memory started to haunt me again. Pain. Unbelievable pain that was all it brought with it. The agony of loss. It was unbearable and impossible to go through. This wasn't something I would- and could- ever forget. I was sure of that much.

_The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same  
Ooooh  
_  
My life would never be the same again. Without him it was pointless, living was pointless. There was no one to live for anymore. No reason to get out of bed. Nothing could fill the hole he left. The hole that was now engraved into my heart.

_Na na, na na na, na na_

Oh god, it hurt. It hurt knowing I would never see him again. He won't be waiting for me to wake up in the morning. I would never see the crooked smile I loved so much. I would never feel his ice cold skin again. It hurt knowing this was my entire fault. It hurt…knowing he wouldn't…come back this time. He couldn't. The promise he had made to me was broken. This was all absolutely agonizing.

_I didn't get around to kiss you  
Goodbye on the hand  
__I wish that I could see you again  
I know that I can't_

As the phone rang for the tenth time, I dragged myself out of the bed. My tears were still falling, I knew they wouldn't stop. Not until I saw him again at least. This was impossible to do, no matter how much I wished for it… for one more chance….I never even got to say goodbye…

I felt the bile crawl up my throat, burning it from the inside. I quickly made a run for the bathroom.

_Oooooh  
I hope you can hear me  
__Ca__use I remember it clearly_Bending down to the toilet I puked my guts out and maybe my heart too. It surprised me that I was throwing up; I hadn't eaten anything for days. Then again, who would after the love of their sad, uselessly pathetic life died?

_The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same  
Ooooh_

It's been exactly one week, two days, and seven hours since his death. Do you know what today was supposed to be? Today was the day I was going to get married. I was going to be with him forever… just the way we wanted it. I was so scared to be married. Not that I didn't love him or anything, it was just the getting married part I didn't like. I begged him for anything else he wanted, anything but marriage. Yet, all he wanted was marriage, and now he never will get it. His one request wasn't possible anymore. No one could understand how much that hurt, no one.

I can't say his name anymore, I can't even _think_ it. It was like before, never-ending sadness. It wouldn't be the same anymore, not without him. Everything reminded me of him, everything. He was still there if I shut my eyes. Once in a while, I would turn and think I saw him standing right there next to me. His face was all over my mind, his amazingly perfect image. If only that image would get out of my head. It was killing me, destroying the very last of my sanity.

_I had my wake up  
Won't you wake up  
I keep asking why  
And I can't take it  
It wasn't fake  
I__t happened, you passed by_

I wanted it to stop. I wanted the pain to stop. It was all too much for me to handle. None of it made any sense to me. How could something so wonderful, end so horribly? It was something that should have lasted forever.

He should have woken up by now. He should have gotten up and told me this was all some sick, twisted joke. Why couldn't this be a stupid fake dream? Why had this had to happen? Why? Why? Why?

_Now you are gone, now you are gone  
There you go, there you go  
Somewhere I can't bring you back  
Now you are gone, now you are gone  
There you go, there you go  
Somewhere your not coming back_

There has to be a way to stop this pain. I'll take anything, I'll do anything. Just make it stop, please god make it stop. My tears became sobs. I was a falling apart, he wasn't coming back to fix me. Wouldn't it make sense if I went to him? The pain would stop…only if I made it stop. If he can't come to me then I'll go to him. This wasn't about what I wanted anymore. This was about what I needed –him. All I needed was him. Hell or not, I'll be damned if I let this keep me away from him.

I got off the bathroom floor. My new idea was planted into my brain and nothing could remove it. The world didn't matter anymore. I didn't care what people would think. All I cared about was getting to him, nothing else was more important.

Walking to my bedroom I grab a pen and began to write. Two letters, one to the Cullen's and one for my parents. They had a right to know why. They were as much a part of my life as he was, only they didn't mean as much to me as he did. I loved them all with everything in me; the only difference was that they were only part of my life. He_ was_ my life.

When I was finished, I grabbed the letters and ran outside into the backyard. I looked for anything I could use, and then I saw it. The old rope lying on the wet grass. It was sort of under a tool box. Pulling the large red box off the rope, I took it back into the house with me. Going into the kitchen I placed the two letters on table. Someone would find it there.

_The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same noo..  
The day you slipped away  
Was the day that I found it won't be the same __oooh..._

I knew I had to hurry, Charlie would be home soon. Also, Alice would know too. I hope he won't think of me differently after this. I really hate going this low, but there isn't anything else I could do. Well, anything I could _live _with.

Going back into my room, I hung the rope to my ceiling. There was no better place for this than in here; we spent most of our time inside this small room. I got off the chair and took one last look out the window. Forks would never change would it? It would always be the same, even without us here. Things would go back to how it was before I was here. With only one difference, he wouldn't be here…there would be no… Edward… Cullen.

_Na na, na na na, na na_

I got myself back up onto the chair, slipping my head into the hole. I closed my eyes and pictured myself with him, the only place I was truly happy. I heard the phone ring and it go to the answering machine.

"Bella? Bella?! Can you hear me? You need to pick up this phone! Please don't do anything idiotic! You can't do what you're thinking, he wouldn't want that! Me and Jasper are coming to get you, just stay calm-"

Alice went off ranting. I think I would want her to find me more than Charlie…. She couldn't die from shock. More tears fell down my face. Poor Alice, she had tried so hard to keep me alive. They all did. It hurt knowing I would disappoint them.

"I'll miss you all." I whispered, kicking the chair from under my feet.

_**I miss you**_

_--_

"_Bella?" he gasped ._

"_Edward! Hang on! Carlisle is coming!" I screamed into the fire._

"_Bella? I'll miss you. Tell them all, alright? Tell them I'll miss them too." he said._

"_Edward, you'll be fine-" I panicked. _

"_Just tell them my love. Promise?" I could barely hear him. _

_"Y-Yes…Edward? Edward! No Edward! Don't leave me!"_

_The fire was all around him now, my Edward was nowhere to be seen. I tried to run into the fire but Alice held be back as Carlisle rushed into the fire._ _Please Edward, Don't leave me. Not like this.__  
_  
--

Nami: I can't believe I just kill them!- runs off crying-


End file.
